[He hopes it comes across as teasing, but with the decaying line of distance between them he worries it might hurt too much to know of Julian being with others.]
[That was certainly not the response Julian was expecting.
...Mostly because that thought never crossed his mind.
At first, it was the shock of being in a new place. Then the monster attack and the subsequent fallout. Now?
Well, he's been stewing in his own thoughts and emotions about his current roommate and friend for the past 7 years.
The truth of the matter is that he doesn't want other people. And he's not entirely certain, but he doesn't think Garak does either. The problem is that if Julian is wrong, his only ally and seven years of friendship could vanish in an instant. To say it's high stakes is an understatement. He needs to be more certain before he makes any kind of move.
For now, he tries to act like his usual.]
Well, considering I couldn't politely bring anyone over, you won't see nor hear of any.
[Even if he was inclined to look at other people right now, their living arrangement is not conducive to bringing anyone home.]
[He feels guilty. What right does he have to keep Julian from enjoying himself? Knowing about others would hurt but that's his own fault, his own weakness. He doesn't have the right to deny Julian life and pleasure just because his emotions are out of control.]
When I have a shop set up, you can let me know if you need me to not come home too early.
[It's very good he can simply send this instead of saying it. He's not certain he could keep a pleasant expression on his face in person. Even now his chest hurts, aches in a way that makes it so clear how very far he's fallen for his friend.
But he has always believed in sacrifice, and if he must sacrifice for Julian's sake now then he will.]
I have no intention of indulging in dalliances with the natives. I have no need for a reason for hesitation or temptation to stay when the opportunity comes to get us back home.
There will not be a 'who I'm with' to be communicated.
So with as in who we've decided may be temporarily trusthworthy? A running tally of who we're spending time with seems fairly excessive, doctor, particularly when I'll be running a shop and you'll theoretically be seeing patients.
Neither of us can avoid working with others in our jobs and I don't expect you to send me the info for everyone you meet. Only those you plan to spend time with outside of usual customer transactions--such as going to a bar with someone, for example.
Doctor. If this is some sideways attempt to discover how I gather information because you'd like to have more training, you needed only to ask. Otherwise this is still a great deal of information. I intend to tread less... well-regarded roads and I would like to not face Starfleet sanctimony while I work.
Should I feel a situation may get out of hand I will tell you the pertinent info. But I won't have scowling at whatever contacts I may make as you judge them.
[Even though those judgmental scowls are so pretty.]
And you may pass me whatever information may be at all pertinent.
I appreciate your concern, my dear, truly. But we already share an apartment and a bed. I must have some room to myself from time to time. A little space to breathe, if you will, and operate the way I have been trained, free of possible well-intentioned or accidental meddling by someone whose idea of spying is kissing women and firing wine corks at enemies.
I will teach you a little, I will notify you if I believe something is going wrong, but you are not meant for anything remotely like I am, Julian. Sloane has no idea what sort of a miscalculation he's made.
[Julian tries several times to think about what he's feeling re: Garak's reply, and deletes several messages, so it takes a bit of time before Julian replies.]
Fine, then.
I trust you and your judgment on when to tell me if things are going sideways enough that you need help, or at least my awareness of a situation or person.
And trust me, I've never been more aware of how ill-suited I am for a particular occupation.
[He's a little nervous when it takes so long for Julian to reply. He rather hopes he's not misread as not wanting to share the doctor's bed, and he's fairly surprised and relieved by the eventual answer.]
And here I was thinking I'd taught you at least a little something already. If you can say you trust me we may have to start at the beginning all over again, Julian.
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[And the futility of hope.]
Give me a warning should any of them come to you. If we're to defy the state we find ourselves in I need to be prepared.
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You'll know of anyone I come into contact with here whatsoever.
[It's the least he can do considering how much trust Garak has already put into him already.]
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[He hopes it comes across as teasing, but with the decaying line of distance between them he worries it might hurt too much to know of Julian being with others.]
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...Mostly because that thought never crossed his mind.
At first, it was the shock of being in a new place. Then the monster attack and the subsequent fallout. Now?
Well, he's been stewing in his own thoughts and emotions about his current roommate and friend for the past 7 years.
The truth of the matter is that he doesn't want other people. And he's not entirely certain, but he doesn't think Garak does either. The problem is that if Julian is wrong, his only ally and seven years of friendship could vanish in an instant. To say it's high stakes is an understatement. He needs to be more certain before he makes any kind of move.
For now, he tries to act like his usual.]
Well, considering I couldn't politely bring anyone over, you won't see nor hear of any.
[Even if he was inclined to look at other people right now, their living arrangement is not conducive to bringing anyone home.]
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When I have a shop set up, you can let me know if you need me to not come home too early.
[It's very good he can simply send this instead of saying it. He's not certain he could keep a pleasant expression on his face in person. Even now his chest hurts, aches in a way that makes it so clear how very far he's fallen for his friend.
But he has always believed in sacrifice, and if he must sacrifice for Julian's sake now then he will.]
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[He hopes he's coming off merely as a polite roommate.]
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As you say.
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[He may have already run through various scenarios in his head and the odds are way too high that Garak could face violence for his appearance.]
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There will not be a 'who I'm with' to be communicated.
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Garak, I was simply referring to allies, acquaintances.
[Really, he was taking a page out of Garak's book, not trusting anyone 100% and all Garak has on his mind is Julian entering a relationship?]
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[That's a lot of name-conveying.]
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Should I feel a situation may get out of hand I will tell you the pertinent info. But I won't have scowling at whatever contacts I may make as you judge them.
[Even though those judgmental scowls are so pretty.]
And you may pass me whatever information may be at all pertinent.
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Also, when it comes to your safety here, I need to know what's going on. Please. I can keep opinions to a minimum.
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I will teach you a little, I will notify you if I believe something is going wrong, but you are not meant for anything remotely like I am, Julian. Sloane has no idea what sort of a miscalculation he's made.
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Fine, then.
I trust you and your judgment on when to tell me if things are going sideways enough that you need help, or at least my awareness of a situation or person.
And trust me, I've never been more aware of how ill-suited I am for a particular occupation.
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And here I was thinking I'd taught you at least a little something already. If you can say you trust me we may have to start at the beginning all over again, Julian.
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And yes.
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