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A solid and dependable Cardassian name that's not yours. Do you really think changing your first name would make that much of a difference?

Sometimes all you need are a few seconds in which to save a life.

Sometimes all I need are a few seconds of confusion in which to take one.

Surely that's not a difficult concept.

Then why not change your whole name?

Are you okay out there?

[He's starting to become concerned that he's distracting Garak.]

Because I couldn't rely on you not slipping up, my dear. You are no tailor.

And I'm fine. These are neither Klingons nor Jem'Hadar. How are you in there?

You could have always said "Garak" was a nickname or something.

[Oops. He's probably right. He chooses to ignore the "tailor" comment.]

If you compare monsters that appear seemingly in the middle of the night out of nowhere that are attempting to kill anything in their paths to Jem'Hadar or Klingons in terms of their capacity to inflict bodily harm, I have to conclude that your sense of danger is very skewed.

[In other words, please be careful and please take this seriously.]

Luckily not much going on right now at least.

Simple is best. I don't have to make any excuses just yet, and if an enemy shows up I may get the time I need to act.

And I consider these to not be intelligent, which makes their attacks much easier to guess at. Also they smell better than Klingons. I'm sure you've noticed that as well.

Just because they're not intelligent doesn't mean they can't seriously hurt you. You saw the bodies on the way here.

And I'm glad such small details make the whole experience more enjoyable for you.

[Bonus points if Garak can imagine just how dryly Julian says that last sentence.]

You have no idea of the many joys I'm finding today. Or the many discoveries I'm making, about Earth and otherwise. Why, I might even call the freedom to stab with impunity therapeutic. You should be happy for me, doctor.

To think I've been so jaded from your violent nature.

I'm glad one of us is enjoying ourselves.

Oh, are we discussing nurture versus nature now, doctor?

"Julian", not "doctor".

We're discussing it but somehow I feel there's considerable contribution from both in your case.

Here I thought stabbing fabric would be enough for you.

Edited 2020-07-27 01:34 (UTC)

Now, doctor? When you're not to call me Elim? Is this some sort of mockery of me using a small shield as opposed to no shield?

You may be right on the other, however. I may have been born with murder in my blood, and a coldness to my nature. Did I ever tell you about the man I beat to death as he was trying to beat me to death?

You just so happened to use "doctor" right after that conversation and I finally remembered to ask you to call me "Julian"!

Yes, murder in your blood as well as a craving for Delavian chocolate.

[He certainly is not discounting Garak's capacity to be a cold-blood killer, just...that's most definitely not all there is to his friend.]

And I certainly know about your "coldness" by now if our sleeping arrangements are any indication.

You know me so well, my dear. It's a wonder I have any secrets left!

Did you hear that chocolate is rare here? That's heartbreaking. I don't know what I'll do without it.

Now you're just being difficult.

[Though he can't deny, he likes being called "my dear".]

I did hear. I'm sorry for your lost. We can mourn coffee and chocolate together.

There's so much to mourn, my dear. Would you really want to lose me calling you doctor as well?

Is it really so difficult to call me "Julian"?

It's terribly taboo, doctor. You'll have to allow me time to adjust.

You're such a liar. You would have said that outright.

On the contrary. I wanted to say it in person rather than simply thinking at you, because it seemed like a delicate topic. But you've been insistent so I decided to do away with the delicacy.

Oh please.

Alright then, I'll bite. Why is it so taboo?

Really, Doctor. When have you ever heard an adult Cardassian call another by their given name? I would hazard a guess as to the number being once, on a certain Cardassian's deathbed. Must I spell everything out?

[There's a moment of nothing from Julian's end as he ponders this.]

I've really only interacted with Cardassian military in more formal environments--it's hardly abnormal for military to address each other by family name.

Humans use their given names all the time with friends.

My deepest apologies. I forgot that humans were the standard by which all species were measured. Of course we use given names at the same rate as humans do! And Ferengi!
We're absolutely like both species!

Ha. Ha.

"Same rate"?! We've been friends for 7 years!

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